ARTWORK: GOALS.

Here is a loaded question: What is the goal of an artist? More specifically, what is my goal? That’s a little less loaded. I’ve thought about this a lot over the past few months, especially since taking on some commission work, working on creating a professional website for my paintings, and also choosing to dive back into the world of blogging. Why am I choosing to do this? It takes time, it takes energy, and I don’t know if it will lead anywhere. I think all artists come face to face with this dilemma. The Great Artists serve as both an inspiration and also seem to stare patronizingly at my easel, at my brush strokes, and pencil markings. I was even looking up videos on YouTube about building my own canvases and decided to click on a link that appeared to be an oil painting tutorial. It was instead an advertisement for painting lessons aiming to ensnare curious and insecure artists, showing them classical oil paintings while discrediting the viewers previous art teachers and giving the impression that the primary goal of pursuing painting is to become famous. It also reminded the viewer how many artists actually become famous. As if we needed reminding.

Do I want to be known or famous for my artwork?

Sure.

Is that why I paint?

No.

Not. At. All.

If I constantly thought that way, it would be completely debilitating. It would completely stifle any chance of creating anything. Every brush stroke would not only be critiqued, but scrutinized within an inch of it’s life. And that’s if I was even able to paint! The blank canvas is terrifying enough at times. There would be no natural progression, because the standard would be set too high. Do I want to become a better artist? More than I can say. Is it important to listen to criticism? Absolutely. Should be becoming better be a goal in and of itself? Yes.

Is the primary goal of painting to end up in the history books?

No.

Art is a job. This is my third job. First is my family. Second is my full-time job. Third is painting - my job that is also one of my passions. It is a wonderful job that I’m trying to cultivate. Honestly, what drags me into the studio some days is simply the need to paint, with no thought of who will view it. The need to create. For me, right now, it’s not something that wells up inside me in some transcendent way, this desire that I can’t control. Sometimes it’s simply because I have this fear, this notion, that I could look back on my work in college and whisper to myself (possibly full of bitterness)“What if..?”

So, the goal of this artist is simple: Create. Believe in your work. Believe in doing better. Believe in taking chances on your work. Because when the enemy whispers so soothingly, “What is this for? Who do you think you are, Van Gogh?” - and he will whisper and shout - I can make an active choice.

To try.

Because how do you expect anyone to believe in you work if you don’t first?